Tunnel Vision: A Nightmare and A Dream

I think I was kidnapped
Forced against my will to do things that later became my will
Things that made me more human, yet less

I tried to detach my body from my soul, and my soul from my spirit, and my spirit from my body
Only it doesn’t work like that

Strangers to the fold of God quickly became my friends
There was a presence that told me I needed it around to be happy
It was a voice so demanding, so patronizing to my own self-worth
Yet it never made a sound

Though I saw this demon vaporized from above
I couldn’t leave the house of my imprisonment
Until I cried out at last, “enough is enough”

I later realized he never locked the door
I could’ve left anytime I wanted
But being confined in captivity’s clutches
I was always haunted by the night, and what might be

And then I woke up, and it was morning
That spirit of strife that kept me sleeping in a scene of screaming silence snuffed out of sight
Only for me to realize I’ve been a prostitute all my life
Selling little pieces of my soul to anything that looked right

O God
We’re all asleep at the wheel
Coasting through a tunnel on a ride to somewhere

Where do we go?
Hearts heavy for longing, yearning for something bright
But we love the night
The darkness we reside in, grows to reside in us
Abiding henceforth till we care enough to resign it away

This tunnel is a Hell’s Kitchen
Catering to every want that my wanting heart could want
Leaving it only to want more

These cooks are naïve
As they prepare a feast for me
My eyes struggle to gaze upon the glazed baked beauty basking before me
For who sees clearly in the dark?

Touch: tender skin
Smell: a fresh scent
Taste: honey lips
Tonight I dine on the delicate dish of Desire
How delectably delightful!

My temple forsakes me
Though well-fed on Desire, desiring more

O come to me, my aid!
I need You
Please, take it all away
Out of sight and out of mind

Let me pass from this confined transport
And transport into the halls of the Master Suite, home
Where longing Lust’s presence is replaced by Thy own

Fashion a new garment for me
One tailored by Wisdom
I beg of You, let me dine with her next
Though I sleep, I seek thee
And I can only dream of it

As I coast through this tunnel ride, I crash
And a riot in my heart ignites
Who can save me now?

Sometimes I want to bash my head into these tunnel walls that surround me
They seal me from Your presence
Mocking me, taunting Thee that You cannot be seen
As I clasp for air, are You really there?
Prove them wrong
Come and deliver me

For it’s redemption we long for
But by our own pursuits?
By no means!
Tiny lights, flicker where absent light resides
Guiding us holy through and through

Yes, He pursues us
Gives us life in full now
As He declares us lost but now found

He awaits to see us pupil to pupil, brow to brow
Telling us what we in our grievous groanings long to hear most
The words whispered to us by those littlest of lights
I want to shout with glory and passion
As we dance in the colors
And bathe in the warmness of Light now realized and beheld in sight:
At that time, in that moment
He will declare those words at last:
“You are Mine.”

Maybe then, we might wake up.

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